Beware of Happy Tunes

No longer do phones go "Ring! Ring!" There seems to be an unending variety of tunes and sounds available as "ring tones" - people even pay money to avail themselves of a favourite tune. My old phone used to quack like a duck when I received a message - that was the only way I could get myself to pay attention to it when there were so many other little tunes out there.

Our kids were at first delighted when we got a 22 tune musical doorbell for our home in Australia. The novelty soon wore off, though, and although we never got around to changing it or getting rid of it we always knew when it did ring that it was a stranger who was not aware how cross we would be when we opened the door to someone who had dared to press that little button.

Here in China, even our land-line house phone plays an innocuous little tune. I usually sit and listen to the first few bars feeling quite puzzled, then I inevitably jump up and announce unnecessarily. "that's the phone!" Just can't help myself. The intercom, on the other hand, sounds like a phone. And when that rings it takes all my concentration to drag myself away from the silent phone to the doorway to answer the intercom instead, "Wei?"

In public, especially on the bus, there are phones ringing constantly, and I just ignore them now. So for my mobile I had to select a darling little annoying ring-tone: It sounds like an old fashioned phone ringing at first - which, of course, has me thinking muddled thoughts about answering an intercom somewhere - and then my pocket starts talking to me saying "Hello! Hello!" Then I come to with a start and realise its mine.

But all of these little tunes are actually quite harmless. Its the really big, wet bruisers that you have to watch out for. I was standing at the bus stop yesterday. The sight of a dainty lady in pointy heels trying frantically to remove herself from the roadway alerted me to the danger moments before I heard the first strains of "Happy Birthday..." A water truck came roaring down the middle of the road at break-neck speed, squirting a two-and-a-half car-lane wide spray of water over the road to - ? Well, it wasn't dusty that I could see. We did have someone express to us once that it was designed to wash the road.

I reckon it must be fun driving that truck, though.